Introduction to Interpersonal Nonduality
Most often when we go to a group, a workshop, a class, or even a meditation we are learning content through some presentation, or in the case of meditation we are being guided into directing our attention in a specific way to try and produce a specific result.
While these modes of working have much utility for too many reasons to list here, from the perspective of Nonduality they all fall within a structure that looks like something like this:
Process = Sense-of-Self + Directed Attention + Content.
Which then culminates in:
Sense-of-Self + Directed Attention + Content = Attempt Towards Intended Outcome
They all operate within a framework that tacitly assumes we need to identify with a sense-of-self and direct our attention towards some object. That is, they all operate within a framework of Subject towards Object with the intention of producing some result (e.g. learning, relaxation, insight).
Again, this does not mean these approaches do not have value, or utility. This kind of learning has been essential for all of us. Also, many different perceptions and experiences can and do arise within this framework, which can include experiences outside of the perceptual habit (e.g. during process of guided meditation, there is an experience of expansiveness of Self, or even selflessness). However, regardless of outcome the process can reinforce this underlying structure of perceptual habit.
Interpersonal Nonduality is a completely different process of interaction through which we are connecting with another or others with the primary intention of embodying Nondual Awareness.
Within the context of interactions in this intentionality, whatever we say, or don’t say, is of little importance. We aren’t trying to direct our attention in any which way, because attention is simply awareness that has been narrowed, and there is no narrowing necessary here as we are connecting with awareness as the backdrop of the entirety of any and all experience.
There is no content being presented, no concept to learn, and while one could argue that the intended outcome is to rest in the effortless experience of Nondual Awareness, we wouldn’t know if we were achieving that outcome because there would be no content of awareness to signal any achievement and nothing to compare achievement or non-achievement to.
Furthermore, the Sense-of-Self that is implicit in other processes is not necessarily a given variable in this context. Meaning, just because in the rest of our lives we assume that our Sense-of-Self may be somewhat concrete, we don’t start with the presupposition in Interpersonal Nonduality. We don’t start with any presupposition. Rather we start with an effortless non-presupposition, or what we might call innate not-knowing.
If we return to the formula I posited earlier of:
Process = Sense-of-Self + Directed Attention + Content
In Interpersonal Nonduality we might render this something like the following:
Process = Innate Not-Knowing = Sense-of-Self (None and/or No Presupposition) + Directed Attention (None and/or Awareness Itself) + Content (No Content) = Outcome-Whatever-It-Is
So in this sense we aren’t doing anything, but there is no pressure. There isn’t some suppressive silence. Rather, the shared recognition is simply that whatever words we have can not or ever capture the profundity and simplicity of awareness itself. We can talk about awareness, but our words are not themselves awareness. And yet somehow, our words are not, not awareness. Yet in this framework there is no work to be done, we simply have the opportunity to share and rest in the awe of the ground of experience itself.