Discover Your Path: Men's Therapy in Petaluma
Counseling for men looking to heal in themselves and grow in their relationships
Being a man in today’s world seems like it’s full of landmines. From a young age most of us aren’t taught what it means to be a healthy emotionally. We are continuously told that we need to perform better, that our worth depends on what we accomplish. Our concept of our masculinity is totally skewed by consumerism, perfectionism and outdated ideals. Yet, for most of us there simply is not a well defined alternative example to follow. We are left to feel our way through the dark, hoping that we can discover some formula to help us live a satisfying life and have meaningful relationships.
If as men we don’t become conscious of the way these ideals are marketed to us day in and day out, we will be forever at the whims of those messages: “you need more, you need to perform better, you are missing something.” If we believe these messages, it will be difficult to feel good about ourselves very often.
So, off the jump, let me be clear about what therapy isn’t. Therapy is not a place for men to practice being more perfect. It is not a space where we reinforce shame-based conceptions about who we are “supposed” to be. It is not a practice of figuring out how we can “fix ourselves” to become some fantasy ideal of who we - or anyone else - thinks we should be.
Rather, therapy has to start with accepting where we are at. When we stop comparing ourselves and start getting curious about our experience, new avenues for fulfillment open up to us.
About Me
Hi, I’m Dr. Scott Menasco. I’ve been doing transformative work since I had a revelation in college that my life felt empty. This led me down a path of discovery (incl. volunteering as a wildlife Ranger in South Africa photo included). I began studying psychologies of the “East” and “West,” and in my early 20s I enrolled in school to become a psychotherapist.
I have a passion for helping men discover themselves and enrich their lives. I know how challenging it can be to navigate the world with integrity. I also have seen how therapy can support us in practicing this path.
Therapy Can Help Men
Improve their relationships
Learn to express the connection between emotions, desires, and needs
Manage difficult emotions such as anger, fear, jealousy
Heal from perfectionism; developing healthy self-esteem
Bring healing to younger parts, or the ‘inner child’
Explore meaning, purpose; existential/spiritual growth
Getting Started Is Easy
Reach out to schedule a free consultation. Meet with Dr. Menasco to explore what you hope to get from therapy and ask any questions you have about working with him. According to Dr. Scott “showing up is 90% of therapy, when folks show up something new starts to happen.”
FAQ
How do I know I am ready for therapy?
You are likely ready for therapy if you are noticing that something about how you are operating in your relationships, or inside yourself feels unsustainable. Perhaps there is anxiety, or depressive type symptoms. Perhaps you are irritated all the time. You are ready for therapy if you are willing to put in effort on a weekly basis, show up to meetings, apply ideas and practices outside of meetings.
Can ChatGPT be my therapist?
ChatGPT can give you concepts, but it can not give you therapy. Therapy isn’t just about the therapist giving the client ‘tools.’ It is a much deeper, relational process that unfolds over time. ChatGPT can only re-present theories to you in language form. It is not the same as when two embodied human beings meet regularly to talk and explore challenges in life. Time and time again I see clients flooded with ‘tools’ struggle to implement them. Therapy is not merely a conceptual exercise. It is an exercise of relational self-discovery.
How Long Does Therapy Take?
An understandable question, but it’s not really how I’d approach the issue. Why is that? Whether you are actively in therapy or not the process you are participating in throughout therapy is a lifelong endeavor. I am not saying you need to be in therapy forever. Rather, that the process of healing that you embark on doesn’t just stop one day. We have to keep working throughout our lives. If we come to therapy and expect ourselves to be completely changed in three months, or a year, or whatever, we are likely to be disappointed. Is it possible? Sure. Probable? No. Most of the times the patterns we are working on have developed over decades. I find it is best to have a healthy and realistic respect for this.
All that said, in most cases I expect to see concrete progress after a few months. Often it happens sooner. Sometimes it takes longer. I evaluate this with my clients as we go.