Therapy Tools? How About Therapy Archaeology…

Almost everyone who comes to therapy wants "tools." The problem? Tools aren't exactly therapy. Of course they can be a part of it. But therapy with any depth is primarily an exercise in self-observation. This happens through consistency. Repeated exposure with curiosity to our mental and emotional patterns that arise in relationship.

I prefer to use the analogy of archaeology. In archaeology we use tools. But they aren't the main focus. Rather, we dig to unearth something that has been buried. We don't know what it's going to be. The tool is only a means to an end for discovery. As we uncover what has been buried, we often only see part of it. We have to be curious, to dust it off carefully. We might be surprised, or even horrified. It's important we don't rush though.

Eventually we start to put together more of the scene around what we uncover. Sometimes we uncover just a piece, and another time we uncover another piece. Over time we start to see a larger picture of what has been buried. As we do that we come to know ourselves differently. What we see and experience changes us, sometimes in unexpected ways... surely not in just theoretical ways.

It's not enough to just have some intellectual idea about this. We realize that understanding must happen from the inside out. We can read about archaeological discoveries, but it's much different to actually get in the dirt and uncover artifacts.