Self-Esteem: Building Confidence Through Therapy
Self-Esteem and Therapy
Low self-esteem, self-doubt, and inner-criticism are some major reasons why folks seek therapy. In the medical model of mental health there is a lot of focus depression and anxiety, often overlooking the importance of personal growth. These issues are very real and complex. However, in my practice I often find that when we look deeper into anxiety or depression we find patterns of low self-esteem and self-criticism. These patterns result in a painful self-doubt, negatively impacting one's self-worth, or uncertainty about oneself both internally and in relationships.
Self-Esteem and Emotions
Our self-esteem is related to our sense that we are worthy of respect, honor, and validation. It is also a lived recognition that our emotions have intrinsic value, which is essential for nurturing self-respect. If we are critical of our own emotions, it is going to be very hard to develop genuine self-esteem. Why is that? Because when we criticize our emotions we are criticizing our selves. Sure emotions aren’t all of who we are, yet they are an expression of who we are. So if we are critical of our own emotion then it requires us to shame ourselves. This creates inner division and ultimately fuels whatever symptoms we might have. Because when we shame our emotions, they have to get expressed in other ways. Emotions are a kind of inner energy, and they don’t just disappear when we want them to.
Understanding the Roots of Low Confidence
While facing challenges, it's crucial to remember the transformative power of self-esteem. Therapy provides a structured, supportive environment to address these issues with professional guidance.
Developing self-esteem can be a slow, iterative process. With persistence, individuals can learn to appreciate their intrinsic worth.
Through therapy, one can explore the root causes of low self-esteem, often linked to past experiences and internal narratives. This understanding lays the groundwork for future growth.
The journey toward stronger self-esteem involves recognizing and valuing their emotions, reducing self-criticism, and cultivating a more compassionate self-view. Therapy promotes empowerment by helping individuals rebuild their self-confidence, leading to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
How to build your self-esteem?
Embarking on the journey to bolster their self-esteem, individuals must first recognize their inherent worth and unique strengths. Understanding that self-value is intrinsic can lay the foundation for elevated self-confidence.
Acknowledging their accomplishments, no matter how small, can fuel their sense of self-worth.
Additionally, surrounding themselves with a positive and supportive network can provide the encouragement needed to maintain and grow their self-esteem. They should seek individuals who uplift, inspire, and contribute positively to their lives.
Moreover, professionals emphasize the importance of goal-setting and personal development. By setting realistic and attainable goals, individuals can experience a sense of accomplishment progressively, which is crucial in reinforcing their self-belief. Engaging in activities that align with their passions and strengths allows them to flourish and solidify their confidence. In essence, the path to higher self-esteem is an ongoing journey punctuated by reflection, growth, and the celebration of personal triumphs.
Overcoming Negative Self-Talk: A Therapeutic Approach
Therapy bridges the gap between self-doubt and confident self-awareness by providing a safe space for individuals to explore their emotions and experiences. As people deeply engage in therapeutic practices, they uncover hidden patterns of self-criticism and internal conflict that have hindered their self-esteem. By addressing these patterns, therapy helps people cultivate a sense of worthiness and respect for themselves. Consistently valuing their emotions within therapy allows them to foster genuine self-compassion and fortify their self-belief. Ultimately, therapy serves as a transformative journey where individuals emerge with renewed confidence, embracing a healthier and more fulfilling life.
Methods Therapists Employ to Enhance Confidence
Understanding Emotions: Recognize and value emotions as expressions of self.
Reducing Criticism: Address and reduce patterns of self-criticism to improve self-esteem.
Exploring Origins: Uncover root causes of low self-esteem linked to past experiences.
Building Compassion: Cultivate self-compassion and a positive self-view.
Empowering Through Therapy: Use therapy as a transformative journey for increased self-confidence.
Practicing Self-Awareness: Observe tendencies to minimize or disconnect from feelings.
Connecting Feelings to Needs: Align emotions with desires for self-preservation and self-care.
How Therapy Can Help
Most of the time when folks come to therapy they want to rid themselves of their emotions. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen this. When we dig into the process of therapy, even the most well-intentioned clients can experience patterns of rejecting their emotions and undermining their empowerment and self-esteem.
This is because we learn to do this from a young age. We learn that something about our emotions is unacceptable, which can severely affect our self-esteem. It then becomes automatic and unconscious.
For some of us its around anger. Our anger wasn’t tolerated or we weren’t taught to express it in life-affirming ways. For others it may be that we were told ‘not to be sad.’ Or that we shouldn’t be afraid. The list goes on. These learnings set the stage for codependency in our adult years.
The truth is, there is no feeling we shouldn’t have. Feelings are simply a response to a situation in our life. Telling ourselves to not feel is like telling our heart to not beat or our lungs to not breathe.
So in therapy we practice noticing the ways we minimize, criticize, and disconnect from our feelings. We learn to exist on the ‘edge’ of that place. Meaning we learn to observe that tendency and to practice reconnecting with our emotions.
Over time what happens is that we feel less internal conflict. We can start to recognize how our feelings are life-affirming; that is how they are connected to our desire for self-preservation. When we are able to tolerate them, to be conscious, then we can connect our feelings with our needs, wants, and limits. They become allies in our self-care. Our resilience and self-esteem improve, and we feel more confident in our relationships. If you want to ask more about working with me contact me here, or schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation below! You can also review a brief outline of what it might look like to work together here.
